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In the beginning, God created the
Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of
all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan
created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said,
"You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said,
"and as long as you're at it, add some
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt
that Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought
forth white flour from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island
Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic
toast on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the
repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart
healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought
forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried
steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white
cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and
said, "It is good." Satan then created
chocolate cake and named it "Devil's
Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so
that His children might lose those extra
pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a
remote control so Man would not have to
toil changing the channels. And Man and
Woman laughed and cried before the
flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato,
naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition And Satan peeled off the
healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them.
And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries
with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super size them!" And Satan said, "It is
good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
